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Road Trip to Atlantic City, page 4 Shop 'til you drop, then pick your pathetic corpse off the floor, and get thee to a nunnery, I mean, to a casino. You can sit there and fritter away your retirement money in mildly-pleasing, potentially soul-deadening fashion. My first full day in AC, as I was waiting to join up with some fellow convention-goers, I decided to take my coffee and breakfast out to the boardwalk near the Tropicana. I was approached by an elderly man who wanted some money to buy ice cream. I offered him some of my breakfast, but he demurred, saying 'Nah, I want ice cream'. On the boardwalk, a portion of ice cream costs $4.00. It turns out that he had taken one of those bus ride packages from New Brunswick, which probably included some concession-type coupons or God knows what inducement, and of course included the round trip bus ride. Fortunately, the tickets he got were not something he could turn into cash, because he had blown his money in the casino and missed his ride the day before, and only had the ticket. Since he had no hotel room, he was reduced to staying awake all night in the casinos. "It's terrible when you gamble" he said, "for me, it's like a sickness". I chose to sit with him on that bench for about 20 minutes; since I'm currently between jobs, I was not possessed of a lot of discretionary cash, so the least I could do was share some time with him. Within a few more minutes, another Samaritan came up to him and offered him a coffee and an egg sandwich. "Nah, I don't want it---I want ICE CREAM" he once again asserted a little loudly, probably a follow-up to the conversation he must have had previously with the woman. I offered him the remaining three dollars for the food, so the fellow could have his ice cream, and catch that bus back later that afternoon. Was it a coincidence that the food came? From what I've experienced in my life lately, I sometimes wonder. No, we have not been transported to the Wild West; we are blessed to be 'down the shore' (Jersey linguistic construction), but, thanks to Bally Corporation, are doubly blessed to be able to feed 'one-armed bandits', now new and improved, with video, stereo, and higher production values. Photos within the casinos proper are not permitted, or else I would have gladly provided them. Michigan Avenue. Whenever I see the 'All You Can Eat' signs, I cannot help but think of the Simpson's episode where Homer, the omnivore, brings a lawsuit against a place that finally had to close its doors rather than funnel its entire stocks of food down his gaping gullet. A 'Philly' (Philadelphia) cheese steak is comprised of a 'hoagie' bun or steak bun with thinly-sliced, unimpressive steak slathered in onions, and usually Bell peppers. Top it with pedestrian cheese, and you've got a reasonably-priced, reasonably healthy meal. Add fries to that, and you are pushing your luck, cholestoral-wise. Beach ware is where it's at. If you have had your fill of the tourist trap junk, turn your gaze oceanward, and relax. The sounds of the surf can be soothing. The boardwalk is worth a tour, but you probably only have to do it once. But at least do it once! MORE